My Honest Experience with Sertraline

I've been on Sertraline now for around 6 months and I've definitely had a love/hate relationship with it. When I initially went to the doctors, I was determined to start tablets. I had already had many sessions of CBT which hadn't worked over the previous two years, so I was adament I wasn't leaving the doctors until they offered me medication. The doctor talked me through the options and told me that from looking at my self-assessment sheet from when I had my CBT, that I had filled it in as someone who was very depressed. This was something I couldn't accept at first, as it's something I never thought I'd be.

When talking through the different options for medication, the doctor suggested a few different tablets, but in the end suggeted that sertraline would be the best for me as it treats both depression and anxiety. By definition on the NHS website, sertraline is a type of antidepressant often used to treat depression, and also sometimes panic attacks, OCD and PTSD. I was told the tablets would take between 2 to 6 weeks to take effect so I started them just before Christmas (18th Dec) to let them kick in over the holidays before I went back to school. At first I didn't notice many side effects but in the second week of taking them I suffered quite a lot. I was sent home from school as I was completely spaced out and couldn't concentrate at all. My pupils were enlarged and they stayed like this for about 1 and a half weeks and it was something that many people noticed which made me feel really self conscious in the end. I also had many of the common side effects of being sleepy, feeling sick and being unable to sleep. For about 2 weeks, I was clenching my jaw horrendously which gave me really bad migraines. This has eased off now but I wear a splint overnight because I naturally grind my teeth (not because of the meds). But when I was clenching my jaw due to the medication, my jaw socket kept popping out of place due to the pressure and I was in agony.

After giving the tablets 6 weeks to kick in, on about week 8 I decided I needed to increase the dosage of the tablets. I started off on 50mg which is where most people start but most people don't stay on this dosage as it's quite low and many people need a stronger dosage for the tablets to take effect. So I went back to the doctors and I was given a monthly dosage of 100mg and this was probably the worst mistake of my life (but I'm not saying this is the same for everyone). My tiny 5ft body just couldn't handle the extra 50mg of tablets that my body wasn't used to and I ended up losing all my appetite, feeling sick constantly and not being able to sleep. I think in the first week of taking these tablets I slept for about 3-4 hours a night, and I ended up being completely drained and exhausted which affected my life massively, especially doing school work and doing my weekend job. So eventually I went back to 50mg tablets after about 3 weeks on the 100mg.

I've been on the 50mg now for about 3 months and it's really made a huge difference to me. I still have the odd panic attack every now and again but that's obvious as the tablets aren't going to get rid of my anxiety/depression completely. I eventually want to come off these tablets as I hate the idea of having to depend on them for a long period of time but for now, it's whats working so I'm going to keep on them.

Daisy x

My Mental Health Experience

*trigger warning - suicide talk*

Since around the age of 11, I have always noticed that I was a lot more shy, anxious and emotional than all the other children my ages at school. I would cry hysterically before going to school, whilst being at school at the age of 8 and got incredibly nervous and anxious over situations that to others would seem easy.

My time at school was never easy, and to be truthful they have been the worst days of my life. I have 3 months left of sixth form and I honestly cannot wait to leave. I've always struggled making friends and socialising with them because of how anxious I always was. I was bullied in year 7 which impacted me mentally and emotionally. School has most definitely been one of the biggest impacts on my mental health, but by no means am I saying this will be the same for everyone.

After about 2 years at secondary school in year 9, I began experiencing panic attacks. They started off quite spaced out and I was only having one in a couple of months, but as I got to my GCSEs and the start of sixth form, they became very frequent and the symptoms of them were worsening. In May  2016, before my English language exam, I was up the whole night having several panic attacks and vomitting, and couldn't stop crying and hyperventilating before the exam - I was a mess. Thankfully, these panic attacks have become less frequent but when they do happen, they are very suddden and very debilitating.

Throughout sixth form, I have found myself not socialising with anyone and isolating myself from everyone. I usually sit on my own and get on with my work, which I suppose does have its benefits. About a year ago, I felt myself going into a state of low mood and my attention span was completely gone. I couldn't concentrate at all, my grades at school were dropping, I felt so low that I went through a state of being incredibly suicidal. For about a period of 3 months, I don't think there was a day when I didn't think about killing myself. There were so many bad thoughts going through my head on a daily basis that I never thought I'd make it out of the dark place I was in. Thankfully, I didn't do anything to put myself at risk.

Last December, I decided it was time for me to get help. I needed something to get me out of this dark, suicidal mindset I was in. It was impacting my school work, my mood on a daily basis and the relationships with my family and boyfriend. So, in Dec 2017, I was diagnosed with severe depression as well as generalised anxiety disorder and was put on an anti-depressant called sertraline. Sertraline is a medication to treat primarily depression but also anxiety, OCD and a few others. Since being on sertraline, I have seen an amazing improvement in myself. I'm a lot happier, I'm socialising a lot more and I'm finding going to work and socialising with the public a lot easier. Obviously, I still have my blips as anti-depressants aren't going to remove my mental health issues completely but they are definitely helping.

Depression isn't something I thought I'd come to terms with or ever think of having. When the doctor said I had depression, I didn't believe him. I felt like explaining to people I have depression would make me look weak, but I've learnt to embrace my mental health disorders and accept them as a part of me.

My anxiety is definitely going to a long-term thing, and maybe depression but the more I learn to live with them, the easier they are to talk about and to cope with.

Daisy x