My time at sixth form was horrendous. It was the biggest regret of my life and such a waste of two years. I already know that I’ve left with only 2 A-levels having been told the marks for my coursework and exam piece; a D and an E grade. This is from the teacher who gave me absolutely no support regarding my mental health and well-being, put me down for the work I had completed and told me to “get on with it” when I was crying my eyes out about my mental state. My other two teachers were amazing, so understanding and helped me so much with school work and my personal problems. These two teachers were about the only reason I kept going throughout year 13. If I’d had known I would’ve left with only 2 A-levels, I would’ve have gone through the two years of absolute hell. The sixth form then put the reason down to my failing my A-level in that particular subject because I didn’t attend Saturday classes due to working weekends in a chain retail store. This was their reasoning. School isn’t on a Saturday answer because of this, I failed. A pathetic and invalid reason. The support I had for my mental health was average. I had a lot of support when I started my anti-depressants (maybe because this seemed much more legitimate to the school), but I had hardly any support when I was having panic attacks or crying over nerves and exams and pressure. When I started my tablets, everyone seemed to have taken me a lot more seriously which makes me angry. Why should tablets legitimise my mental illness?
Throughout the two years, I managed to leave with no friends whatsoever - making me feel like I had no option but to sit on my own constantly, lose all of my confidence and not go to the leavers ball. I’ve left being diagnosed with depression (I’m not surprised from being there) and my anxiety has gone to the worst it’s ever been. I’ve left with 2 A-levels; not even enough to get onto a university course. The way the sixth form have been and how I’ve ended up has left me no confidence or hope for starting university in September (thank god for unconditional offers). There was no preparation for mental stability - just support for getting an A*, something which was impossible for me. If you didn’t get an A*, you were basically shit. I was predicted BBB, but I’m leaving with BCD at most, possibly even CCD. So now I’m in the category of people who left with D, E or U grades because of the lack of support.
I didn’t fail my A-level(s) due to my intelligence as I was achieving A and B grades in year 12. I failed due to the crap staff, the lack of understanding of mental illnesses and the way I wasn’t taken seriously at school. The past two years of my life have been a complete waste of time and have left me with low, suicidal thoughts of worthlessness and not being good enough for university level education. I’ve been left doubting my own abilities even though I started sixth form having gained majority As and Bs in my GCSEs.
Obviously everyone’s experiences are completely different. You will get dome people saying sixth form were the best days of their lives. For me, sixth form resulted in me crying nearly every morning because I didn’t want to go and tried to stay off for as many days as possible. But please don’t take this as everyone’s experience will be like this but this is my reality. It was horrendous and a nightmare and I couldn’t wait to leave.
Daisy x
Why We Need to Stop Glamourising Depression
It seems that recently being diagnosed with a mental illness is something people want. Phrases using the word “depressed” get thrown around left, right and centre without any thought behind them. No real thoughts towards the people who are actually depressed and are struggling to live a proper life.
The truth about depression isn’t glamourous. It sucks. It’s horrible and it tears your life apart. Depression isn’t a girl who dresses in black, listens to sad music and argues with their family every now and again. Depression isn’t a trend that people should desire, it definitely isn’t cool or the ‘in thing’.
Depression is lying in the pitch black at 3am in the morning, struggling to find the good in your life. It’s pushing people away closest to you, feeling that you’ll never been good enough for anyone. It’s wondering how anyone can ever love you when you can’t even love yourself. It’s the feeling that you’ve been awake for 5 years straight and no amount of sleep will ever be able to cure the exhaustion you have. Depression steals your life, your future ambitions, your happiness, friends and your family. It takes over every aspect of your life and eventually steals life all together.
There isn’t anything beautiful or poetic about being depressed. Depression is painful, it tears your
life apart and makes you feel worthless. Depression isn’t just as simple as taking a pill everyday and everything turns out ok - depression stays with you for the whole of your life and although we can have good days, the bad days are still a struggle where you can’t find anything good to look forward to and be happy about.
I’ve been suffering from depression now since autumn last year and right now, I am at my all time worst. I’ve switched tablets from Sertraline to Fluoxetine which I start on Monday. I cry constantly about life being easier if I wasn’t here. I can’t remember the last time I had a good nights sleep. I hardly leave the house unless I really have to. There is absolutely nothing glamourous or desirable about having depression, anxiety or any other mental illness.
Romanticising and glamourising the idea of depression and other mental illnesses makes me feel ill, especially as it’s the twenty-first century; proving there is still a stigma surrounding mental illnesses. Mental illnesses are heartingbreaking. Depression is life shattering. Anxiety is horrid. There is nothing desirable. The next time that you go to say the phrase “I’m so depressed” because you didn’t get the grade you wanted in a test or because the top you wanted for ages is sold out, please think again about what it is to be depressed and choose a different phrase and different wording.
Let’s start seeing mental illnesses for what they are, and not the latest fashion trend. Approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. So let’s try and see mental illness for what it truly is, an illness.
Daisy x
Mental health helplines;
Anxiety UK - 03444775774
Bipolar - www.bipolaruk.org.uk
CALM (men aged 15-35) - www.thecalmzone.net
Mind - 03001233393
No Panic - 08449674848
OCD Action - 08453906232
OCD UK - 08451203778
PAPYRUS (young suicide) - 08000684141
Rethink Mental Illness - 03005000927
Samaritans - 116123
SANE - 03003047000
Young Minds (parents helpline) - 08088025544
The truth about depression isn’t glamourous. It sucks. It’s horrible and it tears your life apart. Depression isn’t a girl who dresses in black, listens to sad music and argues with their family every now and again. Depression isn’t a trend that people should desire, it definitely isn’t cool or the ‘in thing’.
Depression is lying in the pitch black at 3am in the morning, struggling to find the good in your life. It’s pushing people away closest to you, feeling that you’ll never been good enough for anyone. It’s wondering how anyone can ever love you when you can’t even love yourself. It’s the feeling that you’ve been awake for 5 years straight and no amount of sleep will ever be able to cure the exhaustion you have. Depression steals your life, your future ambitions, your happiness, friends and your family. It takes over every aspect of your life and eventually steals life all together.
There isn’t anything beautiful or poetic about being depressed. Depression is painful, it tears your
life apart and makes you feel worthless. Depression isn’t just as simple as taking a pill everyday and everything turns out ok - depression stays with you for the whole of your life and although we can have good days, the bad days are still a struggle where you can’t find anything good to look forward to and be happy about.
I’ve been suffering from depression now since autumn last year and right now, I am at my all time worst. I’ve switched tablets from Sertraline to Fluoxetine which I start on Monday. I cry constantly about life being easier if I wasn’t here. I can’t remember the last time I had a good nights sleep. I hardly leave the house unless I really have to. There is absolutely nothing glamourous or desirable about having depression, anxiety or any other mental illness.
Romanticising and glamourising the idea of depression and other mental illnesses makes me feel ill, especially as it’s the twenty-first century; proving there is still a stigma surrounding mental illnesses. Mental illnesses are heartingbreaking. Depression is life shattering. Anxiety is horrid. There is nothing desirable. The next time that you go to say the phrase “I’m so depressed” because you didn’t get the grade you wanted in a test or because the top you wanted for ages is sold out, please think again about what it is to be depressed and choose a different phrase and different wording.
Let’s start seeing mental illnesses for what they are, and not the latest fashion trend. Approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. So let’s try and see mental illness for what it truly is, an illness.
Daisy x
Mental health helplines;
Anxiety UK - 03444775774
Bipolar - www.bipolaruk.org.uk
CALM (men aged 15-35) - www.thecalmzone.net
Mind - 03001233393
No Panic - 08449674848
OCD Action - 08453906232
OCD UK - 08451203778
PAPYRUS (young suicide) - 08000684141
Rethink Mental Illness - 03005000927
Samaritans - 116123
SANE - 03003047000
Young Minds (parents helpline) - 08088025544
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