My time at sixth form was horrendous. It was the biggest regret of my life and such a waste of two years. I already know that I’ve left with only 2 A-levels having been told the marks for my coursework and exam piece; a D and an E grade. This is from the teacher who gave me absolutely no support regarding my mental health and well-being, put me down for the work I had completed and told me to “get on with it” when I was crying my eyes out about my mental state. My other two teachers were amazing, so understanding and helped me so much with school work and my personal problems. These two teachers were about the only reason I kept going throughout year 13. If I’d had known I would’ve left with only 2 A-levels, I would’ve have gone through the two years of absolute hell. The sixth form then put the reason down to my failing my A-level in that particular subject because I didn’t attend Saturday classes due to working weekends in a chain retail store. This was their reasoning. School isn’t on a Saturday answer because of this, I failed. A pathetic and invalid reason. The support I had for my mental health was average. I had a lot of support when I started my anti-depressants (maybe because this seemed much more legitimate to the school), but I had hardly any support when I was having panic attacks or crying over nerves and exams and pressure. When I started my tablets, everyone seemed to have taken me a lot more seriously which makes me angry. Why should tablets legitimise my mental illness?
Throughout the two years, I managed to leave with no friends whatsoever - making me feel like I had no option but to sit on my own constantly, lose all of my confidence and not go to the leavers ball. I’ve left being diagnosed with depression (I’m not surprised from being there) and my anxiety has gone to the worst it’s ever been. I’ve left with 2 A-levels; not even enough to get onto a university course. The way the sixth form have been and how I’ve ended up has left me no confidence or hope for starting university in September (thank god for unconditional offers). There was no preparation for mental stability - just support for getting an A*, something which was impossible for me. If you didn’t get an A*, you were basically shit. I was predicted BBB, but I’m leaving with BCD at most, possibly even CCD. So now I’m in the category of people who left with D, E or U grades because of the lack of support.
I didn’t fail my A-level(s) due to my intelligence as I was achieving A and B grades in year 12. I failed due to the crap staff, the lack of understanding of mental illnesses and the way I wasn’t taken seriously at school. The past two years of my life have been a complete waste of time and have left me with low, suicidal thoughts of worthlessness and not being good enough for university level education. I’ve been left doubting my own abilities even though I started sixth form having gained majority As and Bs in my GCSEs.
Obviously everyone’s experiences are completely different. You will get dome people saying sixth form were the best days of their lives. For me, sixth form resulted in me crying nearly every morning because I didn’t want to go and tried to stay off for as many days as possible. But please don’t take this as everyone’s experience will be like this but this is my reality. It was horrendous and a nightmare and I couldn’t wait to leave.
Daisy x
No comments :
Post a Comment